Lewis and Clark, or maybe it was Grizzly Adams, had to deal with mountain lions. I had to deal with the sales clerk at Paragon Sports, which may well have been trickier. Paragon Sports, in New York City, is a giant emporium of all things sporty, and it is there I went to get my outdoor gear before I left.

When I told the clerk I was headed for Yellowstone his eyes lit up and he went into a detailed garment analysis that touched on chemistry, physics and 17th-century Irish poetry. For my "lower body" -- that meant my legs -- he recommended the "three-layered system." Note: this is a "system," like an air-cooled turbo-charging system in a sports car, or an agricultural system on a Chinese collective farm (if such things still exist).

I won't go into details of his analysis of the anti-bacterial agents in the long underwear he recommended I buy, or the anti-moisture properties of the fleece pants he displayed before my dazzled eyes. Nor will I expound on the high-tech nylon pants with their expanding-crotch, comfort zone. Suffice it to say, however, that he said I needed all three layers.

"Do I really need all three layers?" I asked.

His eyes sparkled, his jaw set with a sternness that even Grizzly Adams would have found daunting. He held the index finger of each hand in the air on either side of his head and began waving these two fingers back and forth, like the orange batons the flight crew on an aircraft carrier wave.

View From the Road: Driving toward Yellowstone.

"Number One, the fleece pants will wear down," he ranted. "If you're on your knees, say, the fabric will rub. And look, air passes through them. Imagine a wind. A strong wind. Imagine that wind passing through these pants. Whereas, the nylon will prevent that. Your basic system is the long underwear, the fleece pants and the nylon pants over them during the morning. In the afternoon the sun comes out, you remove the fleece pants and go to the two-layer system -- nylon and long underwear. Notice the comfort. Warm but not overheated. Dry. Any bacteria produced by moisture: dead. Three layers, and you are prepared for any weather type at any moment. So my answer to your question is 'yes.' "

By then I had forgotten my question. I had been hypnotized by his fingers and his ranting. Somehow, during his explanation, I got everything I needed. I went home and packed up my new three-layer system.

At least my airplane was almost exactly on time. And the food was pretty delicious too. Yet I did have to endure bad coffee. O.K., the coffee was alright... but good? It wasn't really good. If this was a taste of the wilderness to come, I could see I was in for a shock.

Now, a day and a connecting flight later, I am here, or almost there: standing in Bozeman, Mt. where my flight has just arrived. I get aboard my rented Jeep and head hopefully into the mountains, with the radio on. With any luck, I will arrive at Yellowstone, meet the Jason Project and file my next report soon. I will sleep confidently tonight, knowing that tomorrow, I will don the snazziest three-layer garment system in the whole park.

See you, tomorrow.